Rejoice Dear Souls!

While many of you, I’m sure, are all a-twitter with self righteous indignation at our beloved nation’s alleged plots to do harm, both physical and mental, to the great hero of the revolution El Presidente (for life if he has anything to say about it) Hugo Chavez, I just want you all to know: it’s ok, you can relax. Sean Penn has cast his wise, environmentally and socially conscious gaze upon your proletariat brothers to the south.

Yes, we know that his efforts to stop the Iraq invasion fell, well, slightly short. But do not let fear rule your heart! We know that the same wisdom that gave Brother Sean the courage to visit Iraq and meet with Saddam Hussein’s government in search of the truth, will help him find the truth in Venezuela.

We know that administration-seeded claims in the right-wing hatespeechnet, that Penn is being abused in the basest of ways as an attention whore with delusions of relevance, are completely unfounded. We can proudly report that our mother has told us she knows three, count them, three people who have personally said they think Sean Penn is well-informed and not the least bit creepy. She tells us she is sure there are many more, but she refuses to go outside her apartment until she’s convinced Nixon isn't just faking it so he jump out at here in the lobby of her building.

So just flat out dismiss anyone who says that Sean Penn couldn't find his ass with both hands, a Garmin GPS, and a bread trail. They don't understand that bravely allowing himself to photographed with El Presidente (for life if he has anything to say about it) Hugo Chavez, he’s merely seeking the heart of the matter. And you don’t find that by talking to the people Chavez has locked up in jail, or by talking to the enemies of the state Chavez has removed from positions of responsibility.

We also agree with our enlightened brethren at the Huffington Post, who despite being forced to admit that Chavez’s anti-protest tactics might be a little overboard, have found a way to hold the United States responsible for what happened to those poor misguided souls who were brainwashed into believing that the benevolent dictatorship of socialism is not the righteous path.

Thank goodness for Sean Penn.